Dealing with guests of your guests

July 14, 2009

So, we have a strict “No date unless it’s a significant other policy”. As we all know, receptions get expensive and we’ve already cut plenty of costs for the wedding.

Though we explained this policy to our friends, one still RSVP’d with a guest. Mr. Chic ‘n Cheap regretfully told guest that we could not accommodate guest’s guest because we were trying to keep the wedding small.
Guest responded by telling us “You’re so messed up.”
We apologized and cited the tight financial situation.
Guest said “Maybe I won’t come and save you guys money.”
No word since…

What happened here? Guest was a good friend and we’re kinda baffled by the response. How do you deal with guests that want to bring other uninvited guests?

We’re going to wait and see. But it’s a sad situation.

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  • The Professional Bridesmaid July 14, 2009 at 04:06

    Wow. That’s quite a reaction! Personally I think you handled the situation tastefully. Is this guest always a singleton? This might be a lash out at having to always going to weddings single, while most people are paired up. It can be hard always being alone at weddings (even when you’re surrounded by friends). However, I still think it’s rude to be presumptous and RSVP +1 when you’ve haven’t been invited as such.
    Hope it works out.

  • Jonezy July 14, 2009 at 04:11

    wow… that is sad. I don’t understand why people feel the need to have someone come with them and get so offended when they can not.

    I decided to hold off for a few weeks on telling guests that added extras that they could not bring them–i did this because we knew we would get some invited guests who couldn’t come–and we did and it all balanced out. There were 2 guests that we have to tell no to, out of maybe 5 who added on. So waiting worked well for us.

  • honey my heart July 14, 2009 at 06:09

    i think you handled this well, especially with the explanation about budget/finances. hopefully the turn around and can understand.

    we are also keeping the +1 to our guests’ significant others. our rsvp card states, “we have reserved __ seats for you” where we fill out the number. we’re crossing our fingers that this will keep it clear to guests.

  • Bridechka July 14, 2009 at 18:20

    I think you handled it as well as you possibly could considering how rude your guest was being.

    We have the same policy as you and even though we ahvent sent invites yet people are already coming to us to ask if they can be the exception. It seems that people don’t want to understand that although you love them you don’t necessarily go bankrupt feeding every random person they want to hang out with for a night.

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